The past two weeks have been a horror to me. Last Wednesday I woke up to a churning pain in my lower abdomen which resulted in a case of diarrhea and exactly one week later I woke up to a rather high fever. I simply hate missing work. There is this horrid guilt looming over my head somehow. And above all, I abhor being ill. I have a tendency to become rather moody and upset when I get sick, which is understandable, I suppose.
This time around, as I have slept the afternoon away in a fitful sleep with a mild fever, I am feeling better. I switched on the laptop and I remembered that couple of days ago I was having a craving for a Hakka dish, mei cai kou rou (梅菜扣肉), pickled chinese mustards with pork belly. Traditionally stewed with pork belly, I prefer that it is cooked with a leaner cut. I grow up eating this dish and at this point I am missing it rather terribly. With this dish and a bowl of rice, your belly will be well nursed.
With this I decided to search online for the recipe to make that, although I am not in a fit condition to cook, I just thought that it will sate my cravings for a bit. Thanks to Google, I found this blog Hakka Chan which comprises of a number of hakka recipes and the lives of the Chan clan in Malaysia and overseas. Needless to say, reading this blog threw me into a deep pit of homesickness.
I have had my fair share of homesickness since I first arrived in Singapore. Of late, it has just gotten worse. I crave for a sense of belonging. I would kill for that sense of belonging. I would be ecstatic to have that, wherever it may be. In Singapore or in Malaysia or anywhere else in the world.
For example, I am tired of cooking for Soenke and myself only. Even at times, he won't eat the food because it is too Asian/foreign to him. I would like to share joy, pieces of my life with more people. And somehow, all these things that really matter (at the very least, to me) is too much time and effort for life in Singapore...
At this thought, I am rather glad to find "Home just got closer" in our mail, published by the National Heritage Board and in collaboration with National Integration Council and Housing & Development Board. Many will chide this effort but it is singing the tune in my heart.
People should be taking that 5 minutes to know other people. I have been staying in various locations in Singapore and most of the time, a smile to my neighbors are unreturned. Not because they did not see it, they saw it but they decide not to reciprocate. What a great way to teach your young kids who are with you, that it is oh-so- dangerous to smile at your neighbour.
